I spend a lot of time by myself. I came out with my best
idea when I’m truly alone. I have a good relationship with nature but not with
humans. It feels very strange, but it is what it is.
When I wrote this, I think I was in the low point of my
life. I was thinking about how my life will going to. And I felt really scared of everything there. I
was afraid how my future gonna be, my job, my health, my personality, my family
and my friends. Literally like everything.
This thought is always in my head and it’s killing me. Its
always coming back, and its brutal. I’m a type of person who doesn’t really speak
to somebody, even t my parents. Because I don’t wanna make them worried about
me. So, I have to thinking and find the best way about this all by myself.
I found some videos on YouTube and they say how to know if
you have anxiety or not. Is like a test tutorial, so you have to answer every single
question. I do that test, and the result is YES, I have an ANXIETY. Specifically
they say I have Social Anxiety. At the same time I don’t even know what is
Social Anxiety.
Well, in a couple days I watched a lot of videos about being
alone, and they not have a friends or family. Its very depressing story. But I learn
a lot from their story, an I felt I was not the only one who have that things.
BUT at the same time, that makes me feel more worse tha before. I felt more
scared of everything they said.
And I think my Social Anxiety is getting so much worse right
now. And I have no idea to do right now.
x
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